Friends & Family
Families and friends of those who are suffering from any addiction often bear the brunt of the worry and fear, and can feel like they have lost control of their lives. Families and friends can feel very angry towards the addict.
Your life is being affected by someone else's behaviour. The frustration is that no matter how much you try to help them with encouragement, support and love, or setting goals and ultimatums, they continue to act out in their addiction. It can seem like they don't care enough if they can't stop for you or for their children.
You can become taken over by the need to make them see what they are doing to themselves and their loved ones. You may be coping alone, not wanting to tell any of your friends and family how bad things are. You may be doing things and saying things that you never thought you would because of your efforts to try to stop them. You may well be thinking that everything would be ok if only they would stop, then you would be ok again.
Although things would of course improve you have also been through massive upheaval and change. Your need to save them may have become a problem for you too difficult to let go of. If you find you are exhausted and emotionally distressed, unable to put any energy into your own life, and your thoughts are dominated by trying to control the addict/alcoholic in your life, counselling can help you regain some sense of peace and purpose, whether they have stopped or not.
We can help you develop strategies to deal with the person, stop enabling them, and begin to support them in a more constructive way. You need support if you are involved with an addict/alcoholic. Please do contact me if you wish to discuss anything further.
Some signs for family and friends:
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Are you preoccupied with someone else's addiction?
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Are you suffering at work or cutting off from friends or family?
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Are you constantly making excuses for the addict/alcoholic and trying to help them still function in the outside world?
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Do you find yourself feeling hopeless and depressed and anxious?
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Do you find yourself losing your temper or begging them to stop in great distress?
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Are you checking on them , checking their phone, pockets and confronting them or threatening them?
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Have you become violent?
This by no means a definitive list but if you identify with some or one or two please do contact me and we can discuss it further.